


soulmates.

by feyre_darling



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson-centric, Annabeth feels it too, Book 5: The Blood of Olympus (Heroes of Olympus), Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Elysium, Hurt Percy, I love him too much for that, Mentioned suicide, Panic Attacks, Percy Jackson Dies, Post-Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Post-Tartarus (Percy Jackson), Post-War, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, Telepathic Bond, Will Percy stay dead?, absolutely not, also sally's pregnant whoops sorry, and I mean it, and so does annabeth, basically a sheeet load of angst, but grief is pretty heavy so i had 2 show it somehow, but i dont go into very much detail, but only mentioned, don't wanna romanticize that shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24089650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feyre_darling/pseuds/feyre_darling
Summary: "According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.” - Plato.- or/ when Percy dies in battle, Annabeth feels every second of it, and even when it's over, the wound on her stomach only gets worse. That's when she figures out some myths are true, and decides to get him back. Because even Fate can be persuaded, right?COMPLETED 29TH SEPT '20.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Calypso/Leo Valdez, Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Paul Blofis/Sally Jackson
Comments: 85
Kudos: 257





	1. the beginning of the end

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is my first percy Jackson fic since I was like 12, so i'm sorry if any details are wrong (it was been a long time hahaha)
> 
> i hope you enjoy. I have some exciting ideas & I think this is probably my most creative fanfiction to date!
> 
> A xxx

Annabeth’s sword was halfway through a monster when she felt the claws slash right through her stomach. At first it didn’t feel like much; just a strange, tingling sensation on the left side of her abdomen that felt like she’d been stung by an angry group of wasps. Her eyes blurred slightly, black spots crowding her vision, and the noise of the battlefield faded out, leaving nothing but a dull throb in her ears that pulsed with every heartbeat. But after a moment of standing, confused and unable to move as the monster exploded into dust with a piercing shriek, that’s when she felt the pain. 

And, gods, did it hurt.

It was like nothing Annabeth had ever felt in her life. A burning sensation spread fast throughout her stomach, red hot and angry, shooting through her legs and numbing her hands. She dropped to the floor, knees landing heavily, and curled up into herself with a gasp, coughing and choking on air she could barely take into her lungs. There was a sharp ringing in her ears that drowned out everything else around her, and as she collapsed forward, head hitting the ground in front of her knees, the shadows around her vision took over and everything faded into black.

Later- Annabeth didn’t know long she had passed out for, but after what seemed like forever she opened her eyes again. She was on her back, breathing shallow, as if she thought it would help the excruciating pain that somehow gotten much worse. Piper crouched over her, Katoptris in hand; her breath, too, was coming in shallow gasps, but she didn’t look hurt, and Annabeth realised that the monster must have stabbed deeper than she thought. 

“Piper-” she choked out, blinking furiously to try and concentrate on the faces swimming above her. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess, and the only thing she could really hold onto was how, if she were going to die, she wanted to say goodbye to Percy before she did. That was the only thing that mattered to her, saying goodbye. 

She didn’t know, then, that he would be saying goodbye before she did. If she’d known it wasn’t real, that she hadn’t been stabbed by any monster at all, then maybe she would have tried to fight it harder. Stood up despite the pain and crossed the battlefield to where Percy lay, fighting for breath, dark blood seeping out of the claw marks running across his abdomen, the wound so deep even water had no chance of healing him; lying there with the ringing in his ears, thinking of the same thing she was- wanting to say goodbye before it was too late.

But she didn’t know. And so, as the pain got worse and she sobbed and screamed, Will and Piper and Apollo holding her arms down, trying to find where the pain was coming from and having no answer, she made her last request. 

“Percy.” She sobbed. “Please.” 

Piper yelled over to Jason, who Annabeth could see struggling furiously with another monster. Another wave of pain hit her and she clutched at her stomach, clenching her eyes shut. Will shouted something to his father, his voice shaky with panic, but over the roar of the battle and the ringing in her ears, she only caught part of it.

“Annabeth…no sign of….Jason says…Percy…stabbed…”

She didn’t understand. Percy, stabbed? 

Maybe she was getting it wrong. Of course she was getting it wrong- a monster had just stuck its claws into her stomach and she was probably dying of blood loss. Of course she would be confused. She was the one who had been stabbed, not Percy. 

But then it hit her. The pain had lessened to a dull throb, and now, opening her eyes, Annabeth could see that there was no blood. Not on her hands, nor her stomach; not on the floor or pooling around her body as she’d expected. There wasn’t even a slash on her shirt where she had felt the monster slicing it claws through her. Every part of her was completely intact. 

She sat up, and at once Piper tried to push her back down. “Annabeth, stop!” she protested. “What are you doing? You’re hurt!”

“No. I’m not.” She said. Other than feeling slightly dizzy, the pain in her stomach had gone completely, and she sat upright- Piper on one side, holding her arm, and Will on the other. She looked around, disorientated.

“Where’s Apollo?” 

Will’s face visibly darkened, lips tightening into a grim line. “Come on.” He said, grabbing Annabeth by the hand. “If you’re sure you’re okay, we need to go. Percy’s hurt.”

“What?” Annabeth scrambled to get up, but the blood rushed back into her head and she nearly toppled over onto the ground again, the whole words spinning violently and making her feel sick. Will put a hand around her waist to stop her from falling, just as Piper slashed at a monster advancing from the side; it exploded in front of her, and she wiped the blade on her trousers. 

“Chase, I don’t know what that was, but-” 

“Piper, I said I’m fine! Where’s Percy?”

Will let go slowly, and Annabeth swayed a little before regaining her balance. She unhooked the dagger from her belt and looked around the battlefield. It was complete chaos. Somehow, since she’d been passed out, the fight has gotten much worse- monsters and demigods fought everywhere she looked, Gods and Goddesses at their sides but with little consequence. A quiet rumble began to shake the earth, and Piper met Annabeth’s eyes with a terrified expression.

“Poseidon.” She said.

And then the ground shook violently, an enormous wave advancing over the hill towards them, and Annabeth barely had time to think before she was thrown under the waves. After a few moments, the wave passed, and she slammed back onto the ground with a painful thud that left her gasping and choking, coughing up water. Piper lay beside her, groaning and spitting out water onto the floor, and when she looked up she could see the wave advancing down the hill, past the demigods who had been caught up in it, and down to the bottom where it took out at least fifty of the same clawed monsters Annabeth had been so convinced had stabbed her. 

“What in Zeus’ name was that?” Will yelled. “He’s supposed to be helping us, not wiping out the entire camp!”

Annabeth got unsteadily to her feet, clutching at her dagger. When she looked to the bottom of the hill again, the waves had cleared- and the monsters, too. It was only when she looked closer did she see Poseidon’s tall figure, sprinting towards a crowd of demigods clustered around a pool of blood. 

Beside her, Piper cursed in Greek. “Is that-” 

Annabeth was running before she had even finished her sentence.


	2. i don't want you to go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning just before you read: this chapter has SEVERE SEVERE levels of angst and I cannot hate myself enough for making this a thing that exists but there we go it's a thing now unfortunately. read at your own peril, I'm warning you. 
> 
> p.s i stole a quote from season 5 of the vampire diaries lol see if u can spot it in here
> 
> p.p.s there's quite a lot of swearing in this chapter. i know it's not super realistic w book canon cause they practically never swear (in English lol) but I'm not talented enough to do Greek and it's a bad situation, so we're gonna let em swear like crazy just for now.

Annabeth stumbled through the crowd and dropped to her knees beside Percy, jeans soaking up his blood in a matter of seconds. The ground was covered in it; dark and wet, seeping into the grass and turning the green to red. Apollo knelt by his side, hands already dripping as they hovered over Percy’s body. Poseidon knelt on the other side, pale and shaking- but he moved away as she leant over and brought her hands to Percy’s face. His eyes were half-closed, but they fluttered open at her touch, and he smiled. 

“Hey, wise girl.” 

He didn’t look in pain, and for a second Annabeth thought he might be okay, that there was a chance that he would live, that the healing had worked and the wound wasn’t as bad as they thought. But then she saw Apollo sit back on his heels, his face dark. She met his eyes, and he shook his head slowly.

 _I’m sorry._ His eyes glistened with tears, and she knew what he was trying to say. _I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do._

Annabeth let out a sob. Already, blood was soaking into her shirt; she felt it, warm and sticky against her own skin as it bled through the fabric. Percy looked up at her, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and he reached out with a hand to touch her face. His eyes widened as he saw the blood on his hand, now wiped across Annabeth’s cheek, and he followed her gaze down to the open gash on his stomach that was still spewing out red onto the ground, onto her, covering everything. It was obvious he had completely forgotten about the monster that had just ripped right through him, and his eyes widened with the sudden realisation.

“ _Oh._ ” He whispered, looking back up at her. “Shit.”

Annabeth felt like she’d just been hit by a truck. She hunched over, bringing her hands to her mouth, and let out a horrible sob, followed by another, until she was hiccupping and gasping through her tears and making the awful choking sounds that always happened when she cried. 

“Hey, hey-” Percy’s eyes sought out her own, and he titled her head up with his hand, covering more of her face in blood. His breathing came in shallow gasps, chest heaving up and down, jaw clenching and eyes screwing shut as he tried to swallow. When he opened them again, he coughed violently, and blood splattered across his lips.

“Please-” Annabeth sobbed. Her chest felt like it was on fire, and for some reason the faint taste of blood lingered in her mouth, horribly metallic, bubbling up her throat and making her cough. “Please, just hold on-”

Percy’s finger hovered over her lips, hesitantly. “Shh.” 

“But you have to just- we can’t- we need to-”

“Annabeth.” Percy’s hand went to the back of her neck, and he pulled her down so their faces were almost touching. His voice was quieter than a whisper- breathless and heavy. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s- not.” 

Percy’s breath hitched, and his chest didn’t seem to move for a long time. When he exhaled- a huge, forceful breath out- Annabeth heard it rattle. It was hard to distinguish what he was trying to say between gasps of air. “Well, it’s…going to…have to…be.”

Annabeth’s own chest rattled as she struggled for breath herself. When she finally let out an exhale, she dissolved into tears again, letting out an awful sound; half sobbing, half wailing like some injured animal, her entire body shaking uncontrollably. She couldn’t breathe- it was like someone had taken a rock and was pressing it down onto her chest, drilling right into her ribcage and splitting her heart completely open. 

“Does it- hurt?” Annabeth choked out in between wheezes. Percy blinked, his eyes glazed over and unfocused, and Annabeth saw a tear trickle slowly down his cheek, mixing into the bloodstained grass. 

“No.” He said. “I guess…that’s a good…thing, huh?”

Beside her, she heard Poseidon start to cry. Some other demigods, too, but Annabeth didn’t look up at any of them. She just stared hard at Percy’s eyes that were already starting to fade, locked intently on her own.

“Promise me…something.” Percy whispered. “Promise me you’re…gonna be…okay. Promise me…you’re gonna…go to…college…and get…married and have like…ten…kids and make them…blue…cupcakes…on their…birthdays…”

“Stop it.” Annabeth sobbed onto his chest. “Please, stop it. Don’t- say that.”

“…and you’re gonna…hang out with my…mom…all the…time… and you’re gonna…get a really cool job…doing architecture…stuff…like…you always…wanted…to…”

“Percy, stop.” The pain in her chest got worse, and she wheezed and sputtered again, forcing air in and out of her lungs. Beneath her, Percy did the same. “Please don’t do this, please.”

“I love you, okay? I’m always gonna love…you…but you’re…gonna…be okay…without me, alright?”

“No,” Annabeth couldn’t help herself, as she wept hysterically into the crook of his neck, wetting it with tears. She felt she was _begging_ him to stay alive, as if he could somehow undo everything that was happening just by wishing enough. _“No, I’m not, I’m not. I can’t do this without you, Percy, please, I don’t want you to go, please don’t go._ ”

Percy’s breathing hitched again, chest not moving for even longer than the last time. “I don’t… have a choice, baby.” he breathed out. Annabeth lifted her head and her gaze locked with his. “I’ll wait for you, if that’s what…you want?” 

“Yes.” Annabeth sobbed, hands buried deep in Percy’s hair, covered in his blood. “I love you, okay?”

“I love you too.” He murmured.

And then, it was over. 

Just like that.

Annabeth stayed there for a long time afterwards, unmoving- only lifting her head from Percy’s chest to direct stares so piercing they forced anyone trying to move her to back away from his body. She only saw glimpses of other people, her friends, through her vision that seemed to be fading in and out of focus. Hazel and Frank kneeling down beside her, clutching onto each other with tears shaking their frames. Piper and Jason, Leo screaming and yelling and trying to fight everyone within range of his fists; “You didn’t save him, you’re fucking _gods_ and you didn’t save him? You didn’t even try! He fucking saves you every single time and you just _let him die?_ What the hell is wrong with you?” 

She stayed silent for a long time, too. It was only when she felt Aphrodite’s arms wrap delicately around her shoulders, whispering gently in her ear, “Annabeth, honey, we have to go,” did she start to struggle. 

“Get off me!” Annabeth launched herself forward towards Apollo, slipping on Percy’s blood that hadn’t yet dried into the grass. She writhed around in Aphrodite’s surprisingly strong grip, grappling desperately at the air as she gasped and struggled, sobbing out loud. 

“You _son of a bitch_ ,” she screamed at Apollo. “You let him die, you piece of shit! He’s fucking dead because of you! You’re gods, and you didn’t save him, it’s _bullshit!_ ” 

“Annabeth, shh…” Aphrodite held her close, rocking her from side to side in her arms, but it only made her scream harder. She doubled over as a sharp pain sliced right through her stomach again, gasping and choking on the scream that died out in her throat. It was like last time, on the battlefield- hot and angry and sucking up all the air from her lungs.

“I can’t- I can’t breathe.” She whimpered, letting out another horrible wail. “It hurts, it hurts so bad...”

“I know, I know, honey, I’m sorry.” Aphrodite soothed. Her charmspeak coaxed its way into Annabeth’s subconscious. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. Just close your eyes, baby, I’ve got you. It’s gonna be okay.”

Annabeth closed her eyes, and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um.
> 
> yeah.  
> apparently my brain did that. i legit cried writing this, no joke (I have videos SUE ME) but i definitely won't let Percy stay dead cause he's a bby and i can't do that to him. i know this is sad and all, but lets be real. percy is the only guy who would get stabbed and then say 'oh shit,' isn't he.
> 
> anyway, i hope you are *excited??* for the next chapter. this is gonna be a funky one guys. If you're wondering why it's Aphrodite who is there at the end and not Annabeth's ACTUAL MOM, i just think that she's a more motherly figure and i never got the impression that Annabeth and Athena were very close w each other anyway. More time for parent- child relationship development then, maybe?


	3. dreaming of elysium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! just a quick note about the timeline of this story, i've sorta messed it up a bit but this whole story is set just after BOO, assuming that after defeating Gaea they still had quite a lot of monsters to deal with, and that's what they were doing in chapter 1 and 2.
> 
> also who the heck knows what elysium looks like huh definitely not me

At first, there was nothing. 

No sound, no movement. Nothing but white. 

And then, Annabeth saw him. Dressed in white, like everything else. Standing on the ground, feet leaving no footprints as he paced up and down, hands braced on the sides of his head, clutching his dark hair tightly between his fists.

“I don’t understand.” She watched, as the edges of her dream blurred and shuddered, fading in and out of focus, shimmering and bright and hard to make out through all the light. Someone came to stand beside him, dressed in white, like him; her brown hair and piercing blue eyes strikingly familiar.

Silena.

“I don’t understand.” Percy said again, his voice shaking. “I don’t want to be here, Silena. I _shouldn’t_ be here.”

“You made your choice, Percy, we all did. If you wanted rebirth, then you should have…”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” His voice wavered again, and he stopped still, running a shaking hand through his hair. “You said you’re at peace. Elysium’s supposed to be peaceful, right? You die, and then you’re living here for all eternity and everything’s wonderful. That’s what you said, isn’t it?”

Silena looked at him quizzically, and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She wore a strange, blank expression, her eyes glazed over and unfocused, standing there but not really _there,_ staring at Percy like she was listening to him but somewhere else at the same time. She didn’t _look_ dead, but she didn’t look alive, either. “Yes, of course.”

“And you barely remember anything, and the things that you _do_ remember, you’re not sad about, and it’s all kind of… _blurry_ , but in a good way, and time’s all mushed up and you don’t feel like you should be anywhere else?”

“That’s right.” Annabeth watched Percy’s face fall as he blew out a breath, hands resting on the sides of his face. His eyes were filled with tears, and some of them slipped out as he blinked, pooling around his chin and dropping onto the white ground.

Beside him, Silena’s face didn’t change. She only furrowed her brows further, and gave him another questioning look. 

“You’re crying.” She said slowly. Not a question, but a statement. “You shouldn’t be crying.”

Percy sniffed, pressing the palms of his hands onto his eyelids, squeezing them shut tightly. “I’m not crying.” He sucked in a breath, blinking furiously, but it didn’t stop the tears, and suddenly he was sobbing violently into his hands, Silena looking on in silence.

“I don’t- want to- be here, Silena.” He dropped down onto his knees, and Annabeth saw his chest heave up and down heavily as he cried. “I thought- I thought it would be fine, I thought I was _ready_ to go, and I pretended like everything was okay because I thought it would be, but I hate it here and I don’t feel okay, I just want to go _home_.”

Percy’s voice broke, and he dissolved into another round of broken, half-whimpering sobs. Silena knelt down next to him and rested a hand on his back, but her face remained the same.

“You _are_ home.” She said. “You didn’t have a choice. The Fates decided it. You should be at peace, now, Percy. I don’t understand.”

“I miss them.” Percy carried on as if she hadn’t spoken. “Gods, I miss them, Silena. I miss my friends and I miss my camp and I miss my _mom_.” He crumpled further into the ground, until his head was resting on the floor- arms braced over his head like he was a passenger in a plane about to go down. “I just wanna see my mom. And Annabeth. I wanna see Annabeth so bad, it fucking _hurts_.”

“Percy, stop.” Silena reached out a hand to him, but he stayed on the ground, curled up into himself.

“I can’t.” He whispered. “I can’t, I miss her. I don’t think I should be here. I told Annabeth I didn’t have a choice, that it was going to be okay, that it would have to be okay because I was _dying_ and I didn’t want to hurt her more than I already had, but what if it’s not okay? What if I was wrong?”

“You weren’t wrong, Percy. The Fates are never wrong. It was just your time.”

“My time?” Percy lifted up his head and let out a sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You said yourself, you didn’t have a choice.”

“Yeah, well, screw that.”

The edges of Annabeth’s dream flickered. All around them, the light became brighter, and soon there was nothing but white again. Only voices, but now she could hear someone else, too. 

“Percy, stand up.” Charles Beckendorf’s voice was gentle, and it filled the entire space. He sounded distant, speaking softly and with the same strange detachment as Silena. “Come with us.”

“No.” Percy mumbled through his tears. “I can’t.”

“Percy, come on.”

“No.” After a moment of silence, Percy gasped suddenly, and it echoed around the emptiness. All Annabeth could hear was his breathing, shaky and erratic, reverberating through the dream and filling up her entire body. 

“God-” Percy’s voice hitched. “- _fuck._ I’m so sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry for not saying goodbye like I wanted to. Annabeth, I’m sorry for saying goodbye when I didn’t really want to. I lied, and it’s not okay, and I wish I had held on for longer because maybe then I wouldn’t be here, and I’m sorry because now I’m dead and I don’t wanna be.”

And then the dream ended, and Annabeth woke up on a couch in the basement of the Big House, drenched in sweat and gasping for air like a fish out of water. 

“Annabeth?” Piper was at her side in an instant. She still wore the clothes Annabeth had last seen her in, head to toe with dirt and grime, hair pulled halfway out of her braids in a tangled mess. Her amour was gone, and with her arms on show, Annabeth saw the nasty cuts that littered them, and a huge purple bruise beginning to bloom on the side of thigh right underneath where her trousers had ripped. Behind her, Hazel and Frank sat slumped against a pile of boxes, fast asleep in each other’s arms. Leo sat by their side, kicking a box over and over again with his foot. He looked up at Annabeth with red rimmed eyes.

“What happened?” Annabeth’s voice was hoarse and scratchy. She sat up and groaned as a sharp pain stabbed through her abdomen, making her dizzy. Piper knelt down and helped her upright, placing a gentle hand on her back. 

“Careful, Chase.” She said quietly, motioning to Annabeth’s waist that was wrapped in bandages. “You broke a few ribs. Will says that’s why it hurt so much, back on the field. Probably got too close to a lung or something.”

“-Don’t worry,” she added, when Annabeth looked at her in alarm. “We’ve given you loads of Ambrosia. It shouldn’t take long to heal.”

“Why are we down here? What happened?” Annabeth asked again. Piper’s eyes flickered downward, tears springing to them and falling down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand, still staring intently at the floor.

“You, uh…you passed out, I think. Mom helped. The whole thing ended pretty much after that, but we came down here cause the Infirmary was so crowded. That’s where Jason is, and Reyna, too, helping out the Apollo kids. I, uh, I think those monsters Percy’s dad killed were the last ones. Rachel says it’s over.”

It was the way that Piper said it- ‘Percy’s dad’ and not Poseidon- that sent a stab right through Annabeth’s gut. That’s when she remembered what had happened- the way Percy had died and her dream and everything else.

“Oh, Annabeth.” Piper lifted up her head, and her tears fell freely. She let out a quiet sob. “I’m so sorry.”

Annabeth didn’t hear anything else. She heard nothing over the sound of her own tears, coming fast and uncontrollable and shaking her whole entire body- wave after wave that didn’t seem to stop and felt like they were crushing her- even with Piper’s arms holding her tightly, and then Hazel, and Frank and Leo; all sitting crumpled up in a heap on the floor, holding onto each other for dear life, sobbing and weeping until their voices were hoarse and the sun had set behind the hills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed everything being super angsty again agh what is my life


	4. now you're gone i've forgotten how to breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (just a quick note, if anyone hasn't already picked up on it, Leo is not on Ogygia in this, and the whole 'oath to keep with a final breath' obviously now applies to Percy instead.)
> 
> TWs- mentioned panic attacks, PTSD, brief mentioned/implied suicide.
> 
> read with caution xx
> 
> ALSO A NOTE, I TOTALLY JUST WROTE THE WHOLE CHAPTER IN THE WRONG TENSE, BUT DONT WORRY IVE FIXED IT NOW!!!!

Annabeth practically slept-walked through the next four days. For the first two, all she did was lie on the couch in the basement, listening to the sounds coming from the Infirmary above and pretending not to be awake when someone came to see her. She barely ate, either, and only remembered to drink when she was reminded to by Will, who came down at least twice a day to give her Ambrosia and Nectar and everything he could to make sure she didn't pass out or waste away completely.

That’s what it felt like- that she was just wasting away. It was weird, because up until then, Annabeth always considered herself to be pretty tough; strong willed, tenacious, firm enough to deal with anything that the Fate’s threw at her. But all of that seemed to have been tossed out of the window, overthrown by the sickening pit in her stomach that only really went away when she went to sleep, forgetting everything and pretending that he didn’t die and that every time she woke up he’d have his arm slung around her middle, breathing slowly and evenly, hair tickling the back of her neck.

_“Go back to sleep, baby, I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.”_

On the third day, she let Piper take her to the mess hall. They got about halfway there when it hit her again, the horrible pain shooting through her abdomen right underneath the bandages, and she had no choice but to run into a nearby cabin and throw up in their trashcan. Piper followed her in, and they sat for two hours afterwards in a sobbing mess. 

It reminded Annabeth of a night not long after she and Percy got out of Tartarus, when she woke up screaming in the pitch black, tangled in a mess of sheets and sweat, stumbling blindly around her room and ending up crawling on the floor with her palms pressed against the walls, desperately trying to find the bedroom door. She spent the next ten minutes with her head over the toilet bowl, stomach in knots, trying to focus on the feeling of Percy’s hand on her back and the other holding her hair from her face, muttering in her ear until she was sure it was real and they were out and they were together.

_‘Shh, it’s okay, wise girl, I’ve got you. I’ve got you, we’re together, I promise.’_

The fourth day reminded her of him, too, when she found herself sitting in the Infirmary holding a roll of bandages for an Apollo kid while he wrapped it around someone’s broken ankle. That’s all it took for her to remember- being pulled into the pit, half conscious, the sound of Percy’s gasps as he tries to keep hold of the ledge with one hand and her with the other- and suddenly it was like all the air had been sucked out of lungs in a matter of seconds. It took five people- Hazel, Frank, Will, and two more from the Apollo cabin- to remind her how to actually _breathe_ again, and even then she couldn't get him out of her head. She remembered another night after they got out, when Percy woke everyone up with his dream about Akhlys and it took them an hour to stop him feeling like he was choking.

_“I can’t breathe, Annabeth, I can’t- I can’t do it-”_

_“Yes, you can, just look at me. Look at me, Percy. Like this, okay? I’ve got you.”_  


Thalia stayed with her the most, sneaking into the basement at night and wriggling under the blanket beside her, holding her while she cried. She barely saw her friends, but it was clear they weren't doing any better. Jason and Frank, both crying every time she saw them; Leo, who hadn't spoken to anyone besides Piper since the battle ended, and was starting fights with more people in the last four days than he’d ever done in his whole life; and Hazel, who was fine at first but after a while couldn't be around Annabeth for longer than five minutes before she broke out into hysterics.

On the fifth day, Annabeth woke up early. When she got to the porch, she saw Nico sitting on the steps, head resting against the wall. His eyes went wide as he turned his head towards her.

“Annabeth?” 

He looked more tired than usual; the dark bags under his eyes seemed to have tripled in size, his entire body slumped over with exhaustion. As she sat watching the brewing storm, he looked at her nervously, chewing the edge of his lip so hard it began to bleed. 

“You sleep okay?” He asked. Annabeth put her face in her hands. 

“No. Not really.”

“Yeah. Me neither.” Nico paused, and Annabeth heard him shift uncomfortably. “Chiron told Sally.”

 _Fuck._ Annabeth hadn’t even thought about Sally.

A sudden wave of nausea rolled over her, and she had to rest her head between her knees to stop herself from collapsing down the steps, head swimming, listening to but not quite hearing the rain pelting the roof of the Big House with so much force she swore it might just cave in and crush her. 

Annabeth wouldn’t have even cared, at this point, if it did.

“Shit.” Nico’s voice sounded like it was underwater. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Annabeth, I shouldn’t have said that. Annabeth?”

It should have be calming- the rain. On the nights when she couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t, when the memories of Tartarus were so crushing and oppressive that they weighed her chest down and made it hard to breathe, that’s when Percy asked for his dad’s help- to make it rain, so they could sit on the deck of the ship and listen to it thunder and know that they were _free_ , on the outside, in air that didn’t try to suffocate them every time they took a breath, feeling the cool droplets of water on their skin instead of blistering fire.

It should have be calming, but it wasn't. Because all Annabeth could think about in that moment is Sally, and how fucking unfair everything was, and how completely and utterly torn apart the woman who had grown to be her mother was to be, now that her son was dead and she didn’t even get to say goodbye. Before she could say anything, Nico caught sight of her face, eyes going wide again, and he ran quickly to get a bucket from Chiron’s office for her to dry heave over. After a while, she sat back on her heels, clutching at her stomach.

“I miss him.” She whispered. The sky seemed to thunder in agreement.

“I know.” Nico looked down at the floor, and Annabeth watched as he began to pull at the skin around his nails, already bitten down to the cuticles. “I miss him too.” He ripped the skin so violently it bled, and she couldn't help but reach out and pull his hand away.

“Stop it, you’ll hurt yourself.” 

Nico’s eyes flickered upwards to meet her gaze. He heaved out a sigh, leaning his back against the banister, hands dropping to his sides.

“This is bullshit.” He spat out; again, the sky thundered violently, and Annabeth wondered if Zeus was listening to their conversation. She hadn't seen him since it happened, hadn't seen any of the Gods, really, apart from Apollo and Aphrodite. She was glad of it- at this rate, she might seriously have killed Hera if she so much as caught a _glimpse_ of her. 

“I’m gonna go.” She said slowly. Nico’s eyebrows furrowed, face darkening.

“Where?”

“My cabin, the lake, I don’t know. Just somewhere.”

“Don’t do anything stupid.” He said with a pointed stare. “I don’t think Percy will be very happy if you end up in Elysium too early.” It was certainly an abrupt way of saying it, but Annabeth was grateful to Nico; he was the only one who had just _said_ it, instead of skirting round the topic, trying to make it into something different.

“I won’t.” she said quietly. “I promise.” And then she set off, walking across camp in the pouring rain. By the time she got to the cabin she was completely drenched, and although all her siblings were still asleep, she took herself into the bathroom to peel off her wet clothes with the door shut. 

She’d only just taken off her shirt when she noticed the thin lines of blood seeping through the bandages around her middle, going from one side of her stomach to the other in a perfect claw-mark shape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your lovely comments and support. i am always so grateful for feedback, and it really does make my day, so thank you. <3
> 
> also fun fact i took the image of annabeth crawling on the floor in the dark from MYSELF because that's legit what i do when i sleepwalk whoops


	5. i think i'm going crazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'When you feel someone else's pain as powerfully as if it were your own, then you know you really loved them.' -ann brashares.
> 
> -this chapter is dedicated to (@?)yubarta, who has been absolutely wonderful and supportive on every single chapter that i have posted so far, and continues to be my inspiration for carrying on this sad sad story, even when my writers block is at its worst. i am very grateful for you <3
> 
> -TW for this chapter: panic attack (although not explicitly mentioned, i feel like this is what's happening for a little bit of the chapter, or something similar.) please take care when reading x

_This isn’t real. It’s not real. This isn’t happening._

_None of this is real._

Annabeth tried to believe herself for the first ten minutes of standing in the bathroom staring hard at her reflection in the mirror, watching the blood spread across the fabric of her bandages. Even when she unwrapped it to reveal a red slash right on her abdomen in exactly the same place Percy had his, she was still convinced it was some sort of a dream. Maybe she didn’t wake up that morning like she thought she did. Maybe, she was still asleep in the Big House, tossing and turning fitfully in a restless state of unconsciousness like she had been doing for the past five days.

She stopped believing it was a dream, though, as soon as she touched it- overcome by an intense wave of pain that left her gripping the edge of the sink and gasping through her teeth. Without really thinking about it, Annabeth balled up her wet shirt and shoved it in her mouth while she reached behind the cabinet and took out the first aid kit she’d kept hidden there since she was seven years old. It was a stupid habit, borne out of pride and an unhealthy obsession with keeping all her injuries a secret. She wanted to prove herself to be strong and untouchable, and whenever she was hurt, instead of going to the infirmary she took care of it herself right there in the Athena cabin, away from everyone else. 

It was a dumb secret, but somehow it has turned out useful. And so, as she cleaned the wound and wrapped a clean gauze and a new bandage over it, her cries of pain muffled by the shirt, no one in her cabin heard a thing. 

It was only when she’d completely finished and was sat on the toilet seat, bracing herself against the horrible throbs of pain that were starting to shoot through her, did she really start to panic. 

“Oh my gods…” Annabeth’s breathing began to speed up and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly, hands gripping the sides of the toilet, desperately trying to remember how to get air in and out of her lungs properly. After a few minutes, her chest was heaving up and down violently, and when she jammed her fist into her mouth to try and stop herself from making a noise, it only made it worse.

“Annabeth?” From outside the door, Malcom’s voice was tinged with anxiety. “Are you in there?”

Annabeth couldn’t trust herself to speak and not give anything away. She slid off the toilet seat and crumpled into the ground, hunched over with her hands braced over her head. She felt like a passenger in a plane that was hurtling towards the ground at full speed, and when she inhaled- trying her best to be quiet but failing entirely- it came out as a convulsive gasp. She knew her brother had heard her. He swore loudly in Greek from behind the door that Annabeth had locked securely.

“Annabeth, please open the door. I need you to open it, please. Ellie, go get Will… yes, right now… next door... well, maybe he’s in Nico’s…yes, I know they’re not allowed but would you _please_ go get him.”

By the time Malcom’s concentration had gone back to Annabeth, she had already dragged herself towards the door and was sitting pressed against the side of it, caught in a cycle of wheezes and half-sobs.

“Ellie’s gone to get Will, okay? It’s gonna be fine, AB, but you need to open the door. Does anyone have any pins? Shit, I think she’s tied something around it. Annabeth, _please_.”

“I can’t.” Annabeth drew in a sharp, painful breath and heaved it out, grimacing at the pain it caused her stomach. Her face was as wet as her hair was from the rain, the whole of it covered in tears. “I think I’m going crazy, Malcom, I’m going crazy, I don’t know what to do-”

“Hey, uh, it’s okay. You’re not going crazy, I promise.” Malcom said, although she realised he didn’t sound very sure. “Just breathe.”

The next time she took a breath in, the cold tap on the sink exploded. 

“I can’t- this is- I don’t even know what’s happening, I’m literally going- _insane._ ” Annabeth sobbed. She felt like she was going to throw up. From her position by the door she was far enough away from the tap that it wasn’t getting any water on her, but as she started to hyperventilate even more, the other one burst, and then the shower started to spurt water too. Soon it looked like the whole bathroom floor was going to turn into a swimming pool.

“Just breathe like we taught you to, remember? In and out.” Malcom was trying his best, but it was clear he was panicking almost as much as Annabeth was. There were more of the Athena cabin awake now, and she could hear their voices on the other side, anxious and impatient to get the door open. After a moment there was Will; and then Nico, and then Piper, who sounded like she was crying.

“Annabeth?” Will’s voice became clearer, and he spoke in a calm, levelled voice, quite the opposite of her brother. “Listen to me, I need you to calm down. Open the door, alright, then we can get to you.”

“I can’t.” She wasn’t lying. The pain in her stomach was so bad she could barely move.

“Move away from the door, then.” Will said. “We’re gonna get it open, but we need you to move away, do you understand?”

The water was coming out of the taps faster than before, leaking out onto the floor and along the tiles. It reached Annabeth quicker than she thought it would, soaking into her jeans and making her shiver- and soon half of her body was submerged in it. The whole room as filling up with water, and she didn’t know how to stop it.

There were so many voices outside the door, but she wasn’t concentrating on any of them- because as soon as the water hit her, the pain in her stomach vanished completely. She could see her bandage- now soaked with water- but she couldn’t feel it. _At all._

“Shit. Is that water?” Nico swore again as the water started to seep underneath the door and into the Athena cabin. “Annabeth, I told you not to do anything stupid!”

“Nico, that’s not going to help her!” Piper cried. “Let me just use my charmspeak, I’ll get her away from the door.” 

Annabeth gasped again. “Nico, did you- did you say _water?_ You can see it?”

“Yeah, of course I can see it. Annabeth, what are you talking about?”

“Holy shit. You can see it. I'm not going-” Annabeth straightened up suddenly without any pain at all, and soon she was stood up, wading through the water that kept coming, pushing against the tide. “Don’t say- don’t say anything, Piper. “I’m okay- I just need to- I’m getting away from the door, I promise. Don’t open the door yet… there’s too much water.”

“Where the hell is it coming from?” Nico yelled.

Annabeth reached the taps and turned them off, water spraying her violently in the face. When she got to the shower, it looked like something had burst, and she almost slipped under the water that was now up to her waist. With a yell of frustration, she reached out, and before her hand even touched the shower head, the water stopped almost immediately. 

“I don’t know, Nico. I really don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a note, every time i tried to write the word 'had' my brain kept making it come out as 'adhd.' if that's not percy reaching out from beyond the grave, i don't know what is.
> 
> -also, i made a playlist inspired by this fic, here is the link if you wanna check it out xx  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7DLWerDHJWVaItMaBVauxA?si=TwQh0_y3ROGsCmaGS2wIrA


	6. i've been here before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to the Elysian plain...where life is easiest for men. No snow is there, nor heavy storm, nor ever rain,  
> but ever does Ocean send up blasts of the shrill-blowing West Wind that they may give cooling to men.
> 
> — Homer, Odyssey (4.560–) 
> 
> tw: mentioned suicidal thoughts but only if u squint. read carefully my lovelies <3

The other demigods blamed it on Poseidon, after they had opened the door; all the pipes bursting, flooding the entire bathroom and half of the Athena cabin with water. It made perfect sense. He was angry- they knew that by the hurricane that appeared to be brewing dangerously on the horizon, by the storm over camp that hadn’t stopped to take a breath since Percy had died. Maybe he just got carried away, his rage exploding- quite literally- somewhere he didn’t mean for it to? Or maybe he’d known somehow, when Annabeth was in the bathroom. Maybe he’d done it just to get someone else’s attention, so she wouldn’t be alone. It seemed plausible; a bit of a stretch, but much more believable than the other option.

And Annabeth _had_ believed it at first, that it was just a God’s way of grieving. They’d had a similar experience the day before, in the infirmary when some camper was getting their ankle bandaged. A water fountain had exploded right next to her out of nowhere, but Annabeth was too busy forgetting how to breathe to notice what was going on, and the others were too busy dealing with _her_ to pay much attention to it, either.

So she believed it- that is, until they finally cleared the water out of the bathroom. As soon as it was gone, Annabeth collapsed right there on the tiled floor. The pain had come back full force and knocked her off her feet, and for a while she lay there, whimpering, hands wrapped tightly around her stomach and watching as blood began to seep through the clean bandages again. Black spots danced around the edges of her vision, and suddenly everything else started to fade out, and in, and back out again, teetering on the edge of unconsciousness but awake enough to hear Piper’s voice, muffled and thick with tears.

“What the hell did you do, Chase?” She seemed to be talking to herself. “What did you do?”

“Nothing.” Annabeth’s voice hitched. She wasn’t sure if anyone could hear her, or if she was actually talking at all- maybe it was all in her head. 

_I_ didn’t do anything.

When they reached the infirmary and moved her onto a cot, the pain got a hundred times worse. Everything above her was a blur of colour and sound and lights, all flashing unbearably and making the ringing in her ears worse- but she was awake enough to still feel the sharp sting of her wound, snaking all the way across her abdomen and cutting right into her side. One of the campers- maybe one of her friends, Annabeth had no idea- started to unwrap the bandage, and she writhed around desperately, kicking out her legs as best she could to try and get them to stop.

“ _Fuck._ ” Will’s voice was strangely clear. “Reyna, come hold down her hands. I need ambrosia and a new one of these.” Through the haze, Annabeth aimed another kick, screaming as her hands were pressed down onto the bed, and he swore again. “This is _not_ broken ribs.”

“Yeah, no shit, Will!” Someone else yelled. It felt like everything was getting further and further away, like she was dangling off a cliff, just about to let go and plummet down into Hades knows where, and for some reason she didn’t even care. It hurt too much to try and stay awake, and if she was really dying like it felt like she was, she knew who she’d see on the other side. 

He wouldn’t be _happy_ , but at least she’d see him again. At least then they’d be together.

Will put his hand over Annabeth’s stomach- barely touching, but it made her let loose a sound that even to her ears didn’t seem natural, more of a howl than a scream. It broke into sobs; huge, convulsive gasps that shot from her mouth, and before she had time to think a loud bang rang through the room. The sound of water pouring out of something was clear even to her.

“Holy Hera.” Annabeth thought it sounded like Leo. “What the fuck was that?”

“Water.”

“Yeah, I know it’s water, Frank, I can see that!”

“I think she blew up the fountain.”

“ _She?_ ”

That’s when Annabeth realised who had exploded the shower. Who had burst the pipes, broken the fountain, sent the Athena cabin’s toothbrushes and soap floating along a current that seemed to have no control.

She squeezed her eyes shut, let go of the ledge for a second time, and tumbled down into the darkness. Except, it wasn’t darkness- it was _white._

She’d been here before.

This time, though, it was different. She felt more _real_ , like she was actually standing on her own two feet instead of floating somewhere above the ground, lost in a sea of voices and brightness. No, this time she was actually walking, and when she figured out she could look down at her feet, _feel_ the floor beneath them, she realised she was walking through sand. It felt warm and soft beneath her toes.

 _Oh my Gods._ For a moment, Annabeth stopped still as a sudden thought came to the back of her mind, almost knocking her off balance. 

_Am I dead? I could be dead._ She'd said so herself, it had felt like she was dying. 

No, it wasn’t possible. Considering she had just been in the Infirmary, passed out and woken up _here_ , she couldn’t be in Elysium; that wasn’t how it works. It just wasn’t possible. As much as she didn't care whether she was dead- if fact, some part of her wished she was just so she could see him again- she knew she wasn't there yet.

 _This is a dream,_ she reminded herself. _A dream. It’s not real._

“Percy?” For some reason, Annabeth knew he’d be there. He was there the last time, with Charlie and Silena; he was bound to be there again. She called his name a second time, walking further and further across the sand that seemed to stretch out for miles along a huge expanse of sea, and after a few more steps she broke out into a run, sprinting over the gold and watching as the waves flew past her in a flurry of blue. It occurred to her that her stomach wasn’t hurting at all- she couldn’t feel a thing, and when she looked down she realised that the gash was gone. She was still wearing what she’d passed out in- jeans and her bra- but at least she wasn’t _naked._

 _It’s my dream, that’s why I’m not hurt. It’s my dream._ She closed her eyes tightly, still running. _If I imagine he’s here, he’ll be here._

As soon as the thought left her head, Annabeth slammed into something mid-run, nearly toppling over with its weight as the thing she’d run into wobbled and swayed on impact. She opened her eyes into bright green ones, wide and red rimmed and circled with shadows.

“Annabeth?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "the way to the underworld is over the styx....
> 
> It's a river... 
> 
> I know, you showoff..." 
> 
> *me writing this chapter in one sitting and ending it with the lightning thief musical stuck in my brain. rip me it'll be in there all day*


	7. you're cute when your worried, your eyebrows get all scrunched together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick shoutout to annabeth for literally figuring out what the heck is going on before ANYONE else. we love an intelligent as hell queen. she knows what's happening better than i do at this point.
> 
> {hope you enjoy the chapter! as usual, annabeth is a legend, percy doesn't know what the fyck is going on, and i'm just sat here watching the whole thing happen and sprinkling some angst along the way, as i do.}

Percy started to say something, but Annabeth cut him off before he could. 

By the time he had stopped swaying from the force of being run into, her hand was already buried deep in his hair, and he gave a little gasp of surprise against her mouth as she kissed him. Pulling away breathless and dizzy, Annabeth watched as Percy’s eyes roamed her face desperately, his chest heaving up and down in time with hers. He looked like he was about to faint, and a shudder rolled down her spine as he brought his hands up to her face and pressed their foreheads together. 

“What are you-” He scrunched his eyebrows together tightly, speaking in between great big gulps of air as if someone had sucked all the breath out of his lungs. “What are you doing here? What happened?”

 _It’s my dream._ Annabeth wanted to say. _I’m probably controlling this whole thing. You’re not even real. I’m just dreaming._ But for some reason the words wouldn’t come out, and it was all she could do not to burst into tears. She stood there barefoot in the sand without saying a word, feeling the warmth of his hands, calloused and scarred from years of fighting but somehow still soft against her skin.

“Annabeth.” Her name escaped from his mouth like a whisper, and she closed her eyes, trying to remember the moment in case she woke up and he slipped away completely. “Annabeth.” Percy repeated, and suddenly it became almost like a chant as he muttered it again and again against her lips that tasted of salt water. With a start, she realised he was crying- and that she was, too.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

Percy’s breathing hitched. “Don’t say that. It’s not your fault.”

Annabeth wasn’t listening to him. She hadn’t been able to bear it without him, and suddenly seeing him in her dream brought back all the overwhelming guilt she had felt for the past five days. Even if it wasn’t the _real_ Percy, it didn’t stop her from talking. “I could have, though. I could have saved you, if I’d have just been fighting with you when it happened. We never fight apart, I thought it would be okay just for once, but-”

“Stop.” Percy kissed her, and she let out a quiet sigh as their lips met once more. She had to push away the thoughts that were coming into her head, of what would happen once she woke up. Maybe she’d figure out what was going on- with her powers, with the stab wound on her stomach that was getting worse every second. Maybe her friends would find a way to heal her somehow, and she would go back to being alive and thinking all the time about how Percy was dead.

Or maybe she’d come straight back here, to Elysium- but for real, not in a dream.

“I’m sorry.” Percy said after they broke apart. He took in a breath and let it out with a heavy sob. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, too.” 

Annabeth’s heart seemed to skip eight beats at once, and suddenly her whole body felt numb. She knew she’d never had a dream like this before- actually _feeling_ the floor beneath her feet, the touch of someone else’s body pressed up close to hers as if they really were standing there on the beach. But for some reason, what he had said made her panic. Now it felt even more real, _too_ real, in fact. 

“What do you mean?” She asked. “What do you mean, you couldn’t save me?”

Percy let his head fall onto her shoulder. She felt his tears soaking into her bare skin, sending shivers all over her body. “I’m sorry you ended up here. I didn’t want you to end up like me. You had a _future_ , Annabeth, and now it’s all gone.” His arms tightened where they had dropped down around her middle, legs buckling beneath his weight until he was kneeling on the floor with his head pressed against her stomach. “I’m glad to see you, I am, more than anything in the world, but I just- I didn’t expect you to come here so soon. I wanted you to have a life, you know? I wanted you to have a life, and grow old and do all the things you wanted to do-”

Annabeth didn’t understand. It was supposed to be a dream, and yet it felt more real than ever. The sand was hot against her knees as she dropped down and took his face in her hands. “I’m not dead, Percy. I’m not really here, it’s just a dream, it’s- _my_ dream, it’s not real. None of this is real.”

His brows furrowed again. Another tear fell from the corner of his eye, and she wiped it away quickly, gut twisting painfully at the sight. She used to say he looked cute when he was worried, but now it just hurt her to see.

“But I thought you were…” He paused, and took a shuddering breath. “If you’re not in Elysium, and it’s a _dream_ , then how am I… Annabeth, I don’t know what’s going on. What do you mean, it’s not real?”

“I don’t-” Annabeth stopped. She felt sick. “I don’t know. I don’t know, I thought-”

“You thought…?” Percy prompted. His green eyes were the same as she remembered them- you could never forget eyes like his- but somehow they looked faded, red-rimmed and bloodshot; face reddened and flushed so much it seemed as if he had been crying even before she got there.

He looked _exhausted._ The exact opposite of what Annabeth expected someone in Elysium to look like.

Maybe she really _was_ talking to Percy. Maybe the dream she had before was real, too, and he was hating every second of his time there. 

Maybe he really _didn’t_ belong.

“Something happened this morning.” She began. “I went to the bathroom and there was this- I don’t know, _stab_ wound, or something, right on my stomach where you had it.” Annabeth watched as Percy’s eyes grew wide. “It had hurt for days, but I thought it was just my ribs, and then I saw it and I thought I was just going mental, I thought I was hallucinating it, you know? But then I started to freak out and the faucet on the sink just _exploded_ -”

“What?”

“- and then I thought I really _was_ losing my mind, but Nico said he could see the water coming in from under the door, and then the whole room got so flooded but it touched me and I couldn’t feel my stomach anymore, I mean, it literally stopped bleeding completely, and I went to turn the shower off-”

“Wait, the shower too? Annabeth, slow down.”

“-but it turned itself off before I got to it, though, and as soon as the water was gone it felt like I was being stabbed right in the stomach again, the worst it’s ever been, and I passed out in the Infirmary and I woke up here, in my _dream_ , but it feels so real. It’s literally like we’re connected somehow, and I don’t-”

Annabeth broke off with a gasp. It felt as if she’d just been punched in the gut. _“Shit.”_

“What?” Percy’s hands were tangled in her hair, his expression becoming more and more frantic every second. “What is it?”

“Uh…” She was having trouble concentrating all of a sudden, and from the corner of her eye she could see the edges of her dream slowly begin to waver and blur, fading in and out like someone was flicking a light switch on and off. She kissed him again- deeper and more intense than the last times, fiery and frantic and _desperate_ , like this was the last time she would ever see him.

“Plato.” Annabeth whispered against his lips. “Think about it.”

She was just about to say _I love you_ when the dream shuddered around her, and she woke up in the Infirmary with Apollo by her side and a drip in her arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't written the next chapter yet but you can guarantee Percy doesn't know shit about Plato. i mean, the guy thought Tartarus was fish sauce. bless his little heart.
> 
> p.s i hope this isn't getting too convoluted or totally unbelievable at this point lol, it is a soulmate au of sorts so i guess it's gonna be a bit wild, but i hope it's SORT OF making sense to y'all? <3


	8. (an authors note- I wrote a 'soulmates' inspired song!!!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise! this isn't a chapter, but I've wanted to put a fic inspired playlist on here for ages, and I thought why not do it as a whole page? Sorry if you thought this was another update, I am in the middle of writing the next chapter so it should be up soon! 
> 
> also- SOME EXCITING NEWS FOR Y'ALL- I WROTE A SONG INSPIRED BY THIS FIC!!!!! Bearing in mind I can't read sheet music, and have NEVER attempted to write a song before, I felt like I needed to experiment a bit and this happened!! Hopefully this week I should be recording it, and if anyone is interested, putting it up on YouTube? It's quite nerve-wracking putting stuff out there when you have no idea if it's any good, but I really don't have a lot to lose and it's 2020, why the hell not?
> 
> the song is called 'Drown' ( a WIP title but I think I might stick with it?), it's not a very complicated tune but the novelty of writing my own song has not gone yet and it excites me every time haha. and yes, it is the most angsty song out there- one of the lines is 'elysium's too far from me', what else did you expect from the angstTM fanfic writer herself?
> 
> :)

**SOULMATES.**

dark paradise- lana del rey

the beach- the neighborhood

never let you down- woodkid (ft. lykke li)

lust for life- lana del rey/the weeknd

hurts like hell- fleurie

tourniquet- evanescence

i miss you, i'm sorry- gracie abrams

i follow rivers- lykke li

wait for me reprise- hadestown obm 

survivor- 2WEI, edda hayes

bring me back to life- ht bristol

water water- empress of 

elysium- gladiator ost

we might be dead by tomorrow- soko

where's my love- syml

battle cry- imagine dragons

w/o u- gems

the other side- ruelle

wish that you were here- florence and the machine

this love- taylor swift

big girls cry- sia

to lose himself in vengeance- ophelia ost

holes in the sky- m83, haim

under the water- aurora

drown- ME (what the hecckkkkk!!!!!)


	9. sea salt and morphine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this all in one sitting because i wanted to get it up for today...august 18th!
> 
> happy birthday percy!! <3 
> 
> hope u enjoy some good mother/daughter bonding in this chapter. i promise sally will be here soon, and then we've not got much to go before the end! Also, annabeth is a lot more confused here than she was in the ‘dream’, but that’s only because morphine side effects are a dick :/

Throughout her life, Annabeth had learnt that the easiest way to eavesdrop on a conversation was to pretend to be asleep. Granted, it wasn’t always possible- but when it was, you could get all the information you needed without having to sneak around anywhere or punch someone in the face to get them to talk. People would say anything if they thought she wasn’t listening. 

And so, as she lay half-awake in the Infirmary, contending with the uncomfortable fuzziness that had suddenly started to build up in her head, the throbbing of her temples and the grim feeling of nausea that was stirring up in the pit of her stomach, she closed her eyes and listened as carefully as she could.

“You know you can come and sit with her.” Apollo said. His voice sounded like syrup, warm and mellow. “She won’t bite. Not right now, anyway.”

“Apollo, don’t.” Her mom’s voice startled her so much she almost opened her eyes; but after a few deep breaths the initial shock of hearing it faded, and she kept them shut tightly. 

“I’m just saying, she’s _your_ daughter.” 

“Apollo.” Annabeth could hear the warning in her mother’s tone, the coldness and sharpness with which she delivered it. It reminded her of herself, in a way, though she wasn’t sure that was something to be particularly proud of. After a moment, Athena sighed heavily.

“I didn’t come to visit her when he died.” 

“I know.” 

“I should have.”

“Yes.” Apollo placed something on the table next to her with a thump. There was a sharp sting in her arm that lasted for a second, and when it was over her head felt even fuzzier, like someone had stuffed it with wool. “Yes, you should have.”

Another moment of silence went by. Her mom seemed to have forgotten how to speak. 

“More morphine?” She said at last.

“The ambrosia’s not working. Morphine’s our best bet. It’s stopping the pain, but I’m not sure what I can do about the bleeding.” 

Annabeth knew Apollo’s hands were on her stomach, unwrapping something, but all she could feel were pins and needles up and down her torso, and a horrible feeling in her head that left her dizzy and the room swinging side to side even with her eyes closed. She was finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate, and every time she tried to come back to reality, her brain would drift off again- thinking of the beach and the ocean and tasting salt in her mouth. 

She couldn’t even remember what she was doing there, in the Infirmary. _What was going on?_

Apollo cursed under his breath a few times. “It won’t stop bleeding. I can’t even help it with my magic, it won’t let me. Whatever’s going on here, it’s way bigger than we thought.”

“There must be some explanation.” Her mom said. Her voice was still calm, but there was an edge to it that Annabeth had never heard before. “I refuse to believe it’s anything we can’t handle. In a few days, we can-” 

Apollo cut in sharply. “At this rate, she hasn’t got a few days, Athena. If my magic isn’t working, and it’s only the two of us and Aphrodite-”

“I told you, I’m not asking my father for help. And I don’t need Poseidon’s help, either, not that he would be any.” 

“Yeah, well, that’s fine, because he’s too busy brewing up a fucking hurricane right now over his _dead son,_ isn’t he?" The god shot back. “I know you have a ‘I-don’t-need anyone’s-help’ complex going on, but this is really not the time to bring it out. We could do with his help, considering Annabeth may have blown up the entire water-pipe system in her cabin. If you’d put your ridiculous issues with him aside, then maybe we’d have a chance at figuring this out.”

“ _Don’t you dare._ This has nothing to do with me, Apollo. I’m just well aware that we’re the only one’s who are willing to do anything about this. There are others, of course, but they probably don’t want to get involved after everything that’s happened. Poseidon has lost his mind, Hades has never been interested in anything that isn’t himself, and Zeus-”

There was a loud sound as something hit the table again. Through the haze, Annabeth could tell Apollo had slammed his hands down onto it. “Dammit, Athena!” He yelled. “He’s an asshole, I know, and he’s never any help, but this is your _daughter_! It’s your daughter, and she’d _dying_ , okay, and if I were you I would be getting all the minor gods I could find and sorting this damn thing out before she does!”

By the time he had finished, Annabeth felt like she was about to pass out again. She was confused, and tired, and she wanted to see Percy again- but first she had to talk to someone. 

Annabeth blinked her eyes open, and was vaguely aware that it was dark outside. Everyone else in the Infirmary looked like they were asleep, and out of the corner of her eye she could see Thalia and Grover leant against each other, completely passed out. Not even Apollo’s shouting had woken them.

 _Grover._ She registered the name, turning it over and over in her head. _Oh my gods, Grover._ She hadn’t seen him in a long time, and something in her chest snapped painfully. She wanted to talk to him- to _hug_ him- but right now there was something she needed to do first.

“Mom.” Annabeth croaked out. Athena and Apollo turned at the same time, eyes going wide. 

“I’ll be back.” Apollo said. “Tell me if she needs anything.” He disappeared out of sight as Athena came forwards and took the chair beside her cautiously, as if Annabeth really _was_ going to bite.

“How do you feel?” She said. The edge in her voice hadn’t gone away- if anything, it had gotten more prevalent. Annabeth could tell she was holding something back. 

“Bad.” Annabeth replied. It was getting hard to form words. Her mouth still tasted faintly of sea and salt and tears. “I heard…everything…you said.”

Her mom chuckled. It sounded as if she were trying not to cry. 

“I know you did. I could tell you were listening.” Her eyes got darker, and she bent her head forward slightly, not meeting Annabeth’s gaze. “I’m sorry I didn’t come and see you.”

“I know.”

“No, but, I-” Athena stopped talking to compose herself. She took a deep breath, and reached for Annabeth’s hand. Annabeth let her take it. “I’m really sorry. For everything.”

“I know, mom. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.” A tear slipped out from the corner of Athena’s eye, and she wiped it away quickly with her free hand, stormy eyes scanning the Infirmary as if to check that no one had seen her lose herself for a brief moment. She’d never looked like this before, and it was almost scary and fascinating at the same time. 

“Hey.” Annabeth squeezed her hand with as much strength as she could muster. “It’s okay. I won’t tell.” When Athena chuckled, she squeezed her hand again. “I’m serious. You don’t have to be strong all the time, you know.”

Athena finally met her eyes. “Who taught you that?”

“Percy.”

“I thought so.” She brought her chair closer, and clasped her other hand on Annabeth’s own. It was weird, seeing her mom like this- so close, closer than she’d ever been before. Usually, it was a curt nod across the throne room at Olympus once a year- that was about as close as they got. 

“He loved you, didn’t he.” It sounded more like a statement than a question, but Annabeth nodded anyway. She closed her eyes, and started to fade out. 

“And you loved him?”

“More than anything.”

Her mom sighed. “I wish we could have saved him.”

Her words sent a jolt through Annabeth’s spine, and suddenly she remembered something. The haze was too thick, and she was falling down into the darkness again, but somehow she got it out just in time. 

“You have to get him out of there, mom.” She whispered as the morphine rushed into her bloodstream. “You have to get him out of there, otherwise I’m going to go too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time I close my eyes  
> It's like a dark paradise  
> No one compares to you  
> I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side  
> \- dark paradise, lana del rey.
> 
> (if you're lucky, i'll do a happy epilogue at the end of this. i'm looking at u, kate.)


	10. we can't lose her too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i'm just pooping out chapters right now aren't I !!!
> 
> anyway, fun stuff, my ORIGINAL SONG (WHAAAAAT) is now up on YouTube! I'll link it here so you can go have a listen- tell me what you think about it in the comments and I will be very grateful! <3
> 
> \----- https://youtu.be/WqvKubcZacw -----

“Annabeth, honey…” Sally’s voice was so choked up it sounded like someone was squeezing on her windpipe. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I… I just wanted to- I know that it’s hard. I know that you probably don’t want to keep fighting anymore, I do, I think I… I understand that better than anyone. God, it feels like- it hurts so much you can’t describe it. It’s hurts so much you don’t know if you can stand it anymore, like you can’t breathe anymore. _I know_ , I can feel it too, baby.”

It took Annabeth a long time to realise that she wasn’t dreaming- that she hadn’t gone back to Elysium when she’d passed out. She’d just been floating, lying unconscious at the bottom of a deep pit, and now she was slowly coming back to the surface, sounds and light mixing together in a dizzying blur behind her eyes.

“It’s just that…if you live, you’re going to make him so _happy_ , Annabeth. You’ll get to do all the things that he didn’t get to do, and- all the things he wanted you to do. I want you to keep fighting it, I do- whatever it is, I want to you fight like hell to stay here.”

Annabeth felt her chest heaving up and down through the panic that was starting to well up inside with a sickening fury. Why didn’t she see Percy? Why didn’t she dream again? If they really were connected like she thought they were, why didn’t she see him when she was asleep? 

“But I know that you might not want to. Stay here, I mean. And that’s…that’s okay, too. If you want to go and be with him- you can go.” Sally sounded like she was sobbing. After a moment, she let out a choked laugh. “I promise I won’t get mad, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’ll be sad- I’ll be so, _so_ sad, but it’s okay. Just do what you need to do. Just remember we’ll be here if you want to come back- all your friends, and your parents, and the baby, and- Oh, I have to go for a second. I’ll be right back. I love you, honey. Just try to hold on a little longer, okay?”

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she finally woke up, but Sally was back beside her, holding her head in her hands and crying softly. Annabeth wanted to say something, but as soon as she moved her head a rush of nausea rolled through her stomach and it wasn’t long before she was leaning over the side of the cot, retching and heaving painfully into the trashcan that had been placed beside her. When it was over and Sally had helped her lay back down against the pillows, she realised that she could barely speak. Every word she tried to let out sent a shudder of pain right through her even with all the morphine that was still being pumped into her veins. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” Sally choked out another laugh, but it made Annabeth’s insides churn just to hear her. She sounded like she was in pain. “I keep doing that, too, you know.” She said, motioning to the trashcan.

Annabeth lifted up her hand as much as she could manage, and pointed to Sally’s stomach. _Because of the baby?_

By her expression it was clear Sally didn’t understand her. “I’m not exactly sick. I’m just-”

 _I know._ Annabeth nodded her head slightly, and managed to get the word “ _baby_ ” out. Sally’s eyes widened.

“You heard me?”

She nodded again. Her head hurt like hell, and it was horrible not being able to talk- not being able to say all the things she wanted to say. _I’m sorry your son is dead. I’m sorry I couldn’t save him. I’m sorry I’m dying too- but we can still save him, and we can still save me. We still have time._ In frustration, she blew out a heavy breath and winced as another wave of pain rippled across her middle. Where was her mom? Did she even care about any of the things she said, or did she just think Annabeth was going crazy like everyone else?

“I know.” Sally clasped their hands together. “I know it hurts, I’m sorry, baby. If I could figure out what’s going on with you, I would. I just-” Her voice broke, and somehow it made Annabeth’s stomach hurt even more. Sally started to cry again, voice wavering as she struggled to get the words out. “I can’t lose you too. I don’t know what’s going on, but I wish I could just _fix it_ , you know? I heard…they said the fountain exploded when you were in here, is that true?”

“-Yes.” Annabeth whispered. “It’s-” She sucked in a sharp breath. “Percy.”

Sally looked at her like she was going mad. She brought her hand up to Annabeth hair and stroked it softly, tears dripping down from her face onto the pillow. “Percy- Percy’s gone, honey. It can’t be him. Your friends are insistent that it was you, but- I don’t know, maybe it was Poseidon, or-”

“No…” Again, Annabeth tried her hardest, but her inability to talk properly was making her start to panic. “It wasn’t…he’s-” Her ears had started to ring, and she felt like she was going to throw up again. “he’s…not…”

“Hey, shh. It’s alright. It’s okay. Look, I brought you something.” From out of her bag, Sally brought out a little black box. In it were two rings- one that looked like an engagement ring, with a silver band and a sparkling green stone on top. The other one didn’t have the stone, but it was decorated with a dark slither of green that went all around the outside, and a heart right in the middle.

“I thought I should bring you these. Seeing as he…” Sally moved her hand to cover her mouth, and managed to supress a heavy sob. “Seeing as he never got the chance.”

Carefully, she moved Annabeth’s hand and slipped the first ring onto her finger, careful of the morphine drip. “This one was from him. I know you guys were young, and I don’t think he expected to use it straight away, but-” 

Sally stopped, and Annabeth squeezed her hand. _It’s alright._

“God, he loved you _so much_ , Annabeth. He really did. So, that was his. This one…” She took out the dark one from the box and slipped it onto the next finger. “This one is from me. A Claddagh ring. Irish, though I don’t know why the hell we have it, we’re not Irish in the slightest. It’s sort of like a family tradition, you give it to your daughter in law when…well, actually, you give it to anyone you care about, but I thought it was a good thing to give to you, because…”

Annabeth interrupted as she threw up again over the side of the bed. When she’d been laid back down, she looked up at Sally. 

“Bad…timing.”

Sally laughed, eyes shining with tears. “A little bit.”

“Sally…” Annabeth tried again. “Percy’s in…Elysium, but…Plato-” Her voice broke off as the sharp pain in her stomach got worse all of a sudden, slicing all the way through her abdomen with furious intensity. She bit down on her lip to stop herself from screaming out, tasting blood.

“I’m going to get Apollo.” Sally’s voice was laced with panic, breathing heavily through her tears. As she got up to stand, Annabeth grabbed her by the hand. 

“Don’t…go…please.”

“Honey, I have to, just hang on for one minute.”

“No, Sally, please.” By now, Annabeth was sobbing; it felt as though someone was stabbing her with claws and dragging them down her stomach, piercing the skin and everything underneath. She gasped and choked on the air, squirming around underneath the sheets. _I need to tell you everything, Sally. I need you to know what’s going on._

Just as Sally was about to reply, someone came bursting through the Infirmary doors- Annabeth recognised Apollo’s voice, and then her mothers, and Hades, and Zeus, and…

“Poseidon?” Sally drew in a shaky breath. “You have to help her, please. We’ve lost our baby, _we can’t lose her too._ ”

Poseidon’s voice was strangely calm. It sounded like he was underwater.

“We're going to fix this, Sally. We have to get her to the lake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're nearing the end folks, and idk if i'm happy or sad about it to be honest


	11. what belongs to the sea can always return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this instead of doing french homework yeeeeeehaw we love athena and poseidon being aholes to each other

Annabeth never used to like the water.

She was six when her father suggested she try out swimming lessons- a desperate attempt on his part to somehow fit her into society, into some sort of _normal_. It didn’t work out. She spent the first lesson yelling at the teacher, and the lesson after that yelling at her dad by the poolside, refusing to get in the water. On the third lesson, there was a Laistrygonian Giant in the girls locker room that she only just managed to escape from; and considering those monsters came from a son of Poseidon, she was even less eager to take a swim than before. 

“If our theories are correct, the water should heal her. For now, anyway, until we can figure out-”

“ _For now?_ With all due respect, Poseidon, I don’t think you understand the complexity of what we’re dealing with here. I know you might not care, but-”

“You think I don’t care? He’s _my_ son, Athena.”

“And she’s _my_ daughter!”

When she got to camp, her siblings in the Athena cabin only increased her dislike of the ocean- and of Percy, when she first met him. It was only when they became friends did she start to see things differently, instead of basing her opinions on what everyone else told her. 

_’Because you’re my friend, seaweed brain. Anymore stupid questions?’_

When they started dating, that summer after the battle, Percy had taught Annabeth to surf. In between the sea foam and the waves crashing overhead and the taste of salt in her mouth as she fell, and got back up, and fell again, she realised that the ocean could be beautiful. It _was_ beautiful. And calm, and gentle, and ferocious, and strong- it was everything and nothing, and soon it became a place of refuge, somewhere to go when she was feeling like the world was ending and nothing would ever be alright again. Like when Percy was gone; or when they got out of Tartarus. For the first few weeks, only the sounds of the ocean could get them both to sleep. Sometimes they would swim down in the middle of the night and sit at the bottom, and that was enough to make them forget, just until the morning.

“So, what the hell is your plan, exactly? Sit here and wait for something else to happen? They’re connected, we know that already, so there must be some way to get to Elysium and-” 

“That’s not going to work, Athena, I already told you. It’s been too long since he-”

“I didn’t ask you, Hades. _Poseidon, are you listening to me?_ ”

Annabeth felt the water on her skin, cool and soft and welcome, and stopped making a sound as the pain dissipated like it had done before. She wanted to slip right underneath, and stay there for a long, long time, just like she and Percy used to do. 

“Goddammit, Athena, _yes_ , I’m listening, but you said so yourself, we don’t have time right now. I don’t have a plan, and no one else seems to have any ideas, so this is the best we’ve got. They were separated, and it wasn’t the right time because Annabeth didn’t go too, so he must have left part of himself on earth, with her, that’s why she can-”

“I know why! But we need a plan, otherwise she’s going to die! Don’t you understand? We need to know what we’re going to do-”

“We don’t always need a plan! Come here, help me hold her. Sally, you take her from me here.”

“We don’t always need a _plan_? Are you so insolent-”

“Hey!” Annabeth heard Sally yell, and whatever consciousness she had left wanted desperately to reach out to her. _I’m going to get him out of there, myself, Sally. I promise. We’re both getting out of there._ “Stop it, both of you! We have to work together. If there’s a chance we can get them both back, I want to try, and right now you’re not helping either of them, so for Gods sakes, will you _please_ get over yourselves and help me.”

For some reason, a strange thought entered Annabeth’s head. 

_It’s like Romeo and Juliet If I die. That’s what it’ll be. Maybe, if I die, they’ll stop yelling at each other and actually get along_.

But then she realised something. She didn’t _want_ to die, not really. She would be glad to see Percy again, of course, to stay with him forever, but that was what _she_ wanted. She couldn’t think of herself. No, right now, she had to think about her friends, and her family, and Sally and the baby and all the things they would both miss if they were gone. All the people who would miss _them_ , all the opportunities they wouldn’t get to have.

She heard snippets of conversation amidst the buzzing in her ears. _‘Connection…Zeus…Plato…powers...water…’_ Annabeth stopped trying to concentrate. She knew what was happening, even before any of the Gods did. _‘percy…soulmates…separated…’_ It should have been strange to think that she and Percy had been connected their whole lives, but somehow it wasn’t. It felt normal. It felt _real._

Annabeth realised both Sally and her mom were holding her up, now. At first, the water was barely lapping over her shoulders- and then, she realised she was completely underneath. But she wasn’t in the lake anymore.

She was in the _sea._

After a moment of sinking, something jarred in the pit of her stomach, and she swam upwards, breaking the surface, gasping and coughing and spitting water from her mouth. Her head bobbed just above the waves, and it was all she could do not to sink right under again and let the pull of the current take her all the way to the bottom.

_Think, Annabeth. Where are you? Where did you go?_

Annabeth looked around. There seemed to be no sign of land; the ocean stretched out for miles, spreading out all around her from all sides. The sun was hot on her face as it glared down from high in the sky, reflecting onto the blue and shimmering across the waves. She would have stopped to think about how beautiful it looked if it weren’t for the fact that she felt like she was going to drown. 

_If I’m in Elysium,_ Annabeth though as she kicked furiously to keep herself swimming, _then I can’t drown. It’s probably just a dream again, like the last times. But what the hell am I doing in the_ sea?

She stopped kicking after a while, exhaustion seeping into her legs and all the way up her torso, and was just about to sink when something grabbed hold of her waist and hurled her back up. 

“I know-” Percy held onto Annabeth’s waist tightly, only just keeping them afloat, both shivering violently from the cold. “-I know what you meant. When you said Plato. I know what you mean now, and I don’t know why I never thought to-”

She grabbed a hold of his face and kissed him fiercely, sobbing onto his lips, tears mixing with the sea salt. “I love you.” She said, slipping an arm around his waist so they were both holding each other up. “And I know it will be easier for me to stay here, but we have to go back.”

“But how?” Percy coughed as he gulped in water. He was already dead- he couldn't drown, it wasn't possible- but for some reason it felt like he was being pulled under, too, just as Annabeth was. It was getting harder and harder to keep themselves from sinking, and every time one of them made progress, the other would pull them back down again. “I don’t even know what’s going on, I was just sitting on the sand and I saw you way off so I swam-”

“Wait, you swam all the way out here?”

“Yes, of course I did! I wasn’t going to _leave_ you-”

“Okay, okay, I know, it’s just-”

Annabeth stopped talking as she slipped under. Water filled her mouth, her lungs, and all of a sudden it felt like they were going to explode. Grasping desperately under the water, she grabbed hold of Percy’s hand and squeezed it tightly.

 _Percy._ She tried to think it in her head, to make him hear it even though she had no idea if it would work. _Think about it. Think about how much you want to go back to camp. Think about me. A tether, right? That’s what you used in the River Styx, a tether. Maybe it’ll work now. So think about your mom, and your brother or your sister, and me._

_Think about home._

Annabeth’s lungs were bursting, screaming for air. She opened her mouth, and the water rushed in.

_We’re going home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bro this fic is nearly over and i don't know if i'm ready 2 let go of the angst to be honest :/


	12. there's a tether that's keeping me there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the poem at the start is by nikita gill  
> chapter title is from the song 'tether' by chvrches  
> and the lines from pjo/hoo belong to rick, but of course you know which ones those are ;)
> 
> hope you like <3

_There is nothing beautiful about the wreckage of a human being._

_There is nothing pretty_

_about damage,_

_about pain,_

_about heartache._

_What is beautiful is_

_their strength_

_their resilience,_

_their fortitude_

_as they display **an ocean of courage**_

_when they pick through the wreckage of their life_

_to build something beautiful brand new,_

_against every odd_

_that is stacked against them._

For a while, it felt like Annabeth was floating. She was in the water, but she couldn’t see up, or down, or anywhere in between. Maybe she wasn’t in the water. She was just floating. Cold air brushing against her fingertips, rushing over her body in a wave, all at once and not at all; flurries of whispers passing by like voices on the wind.

_We’re staying together. You’re not getting away from me- never again._

_You promised, Seaweed brain. We would not get separated! Ever again!_

Some part of her remembered them. Maybe they were hers, maybe they weren’t. But she remembered them anyway; memories carried on the crest of a wave, plunging down into the ocean, swimming in circles down at the bottom. 

_Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?_

_Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then, we'll see._

_Come back alive._

Annabeth felt her hand on something. Long and thin, almost like a piece of string. _A tether._ She closed her hand around it, and tugged hard. A dull sound reverberated through the dark, humming and echoing as if it were alive, breathing, throbbing and pulsating with energy. She followed the sound downward, tugging again, and felt the line pull back.

_You’re impossible!_

_Love you too!_

Again, she pulled; and again, the tether jerked back. _Keep going._ It seemed to say. _I’m here. Keep going._

And so, she did. She kept going, for a long time, floating and drifting along in the darkness, hand on the line as it went on and on and on, pulling back in answer to her.

_You drool when you sleep._

_I just know I’ll fight next to you._

_The rivalry ends here. I love you, Wise girl._

For a while, the sounds stayed at the bottom, whispering around her, getting louder and louder with every pull of the tether. And then, just like that, they erupted. Everything all at once, building up and up and up, bubbling to the surface like a huge wave. Something in the water changed, and with sudden, blinding flash of light everything was thrown out of the way, shooting upwards like lightning, shaking violently, wiping it all out as a tsunami wipes out a camp, as water wipes out a cabin. Everything had blown up, but the tether in Annabeth’s hand stayed strong.

She opened her eyes into the sun. Laying on her back, soaked through to the skin, coughing water up from her lungs and onto the wet grass. Looking up into faces- campers, her mom, her friends, all covered in water too. Someone at the side of her was weeping. “Oh my god, Percy, Percy, baby.” Sally’s voice trembled uncontrollably. “Oh, honey, it’s me. Hey, it’s me, Percy. You’re okay.”

Annabeth felt the tether still, in her right hand. She squeezed it, and Percy’s hand squeezed back. She heard him start to cry. “ _Mom?_ ” 

Someone else was at her side, talking to her; Thalia and her mom and Grover- but Annabeth was too tired to do anything but lay there, watching the sky. It was some time before she felt the hand in hers move. Percy’s eyes shone brightly from above her as he leaned over her body, cold hands on her face. His whole body shuddered, shaking and dripping, doused with the water he had not managed to dry off, and she could tell he was trying hard not to fall straight on top of her. 

“You did it.” He sobbed. Annabeth closed her eyes as he kissed her. Their breath mingled together, hot and trembling. “You did it.”

“No.” Her voice was hoarse. “ _We did it._ ”

“But _you_ saved me, Annabeth. You saved me.”

“No.” She said again, opening her eyes and meeting his green ones- eyes that were sparkling with life. “We saved each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only an epilogue left. here's a teaser !
> 
> "Mommy hurt?"
> 
> "No, Bee. Mommy's not hurt. This is from a long time ago."... "Daddy's got one too."


	13. we're alive (epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bro. 
> 
> it's the end. i'm not ready to say goodbye to this fic, however sad it has been (and it has been SAD, y'all already know.)
> 
> the song at the end is a bit from 'This Love' by Taylor Swift (very good song if you have never listened.)
> 
> hope you like the last ever chapter. it has been a pleasure.

“Mommy hurt?”

The question came out of nowhere, and for a moment Annabeth didn’t know what to say. When there came no reply, Bianca asked it again, pointing fiercely with her little finger at the scars that overlapped each other, running jaggedly from one side of her mother’s abdomen to the other.

“Mommy hurt.” This time, it wasn’t a question. Annabeth realised by the shift in her daughter’s voice that she was about to cry, and quickly lifted her up onto the bed, doing her best to swallow the lump in her throat that was making her eyes water. 

“No, Bee. Mommy's not hurt. This is from a long time ago." 

Bianca’s lower lip trembled. She reached out a finger hesitantly towards Annabeth’s stomach and stopped midway, leaving it hanging in the air, as if she were afraid to touch it. “Hurt.”

Annabeth opened her mouth, and closed it without a word. It occurred to her that neither of her children had ever seen her scars- any of them- or, if they had, they were too young to understand, too young to ask questions or wonder what had caused them, or why it was only their parents that had them and no one else.

But Bianca was getting older. She was getting older, and she’d _noticed_ , and Annabeth hadn’t given a second thought to how she was going to explain.

_You’re father and I, we’re connected. Sort of like Plato said. Halves of each other, something that even our parents didn’t know existed anymore. He died, I didn’t, and the whole thing went to pieces because he wasn’t on earth with me and I wasn’t in Elysium with him. He left a part of himself with me- he gave me his powers, but he gave me what killed him, too. They said we couldn’t live without each other, and it was true- we couldn’t. We couldn’t live without each other, and it was either my death or bringing him back to life that could save us. And you know which one we chose, don’t you?_

She knew an explanation would have to wait. It had been almost nine years since everything had happened, and still Annabeth woke herself screaming in the middle of the night, dreaming not just of Tartarus, but of all that came afterward; the battle, watching Percy’s blood mix with the grass and feeling her heart smash to pieces as his eyes opened and _stayed open._ Sometimes it was Percy who woke her- halfway out of his dream and halfway still in it, writhing in his sheets and shooting up in a cold sweat; taking a long time to realise that he wasn’t in Elysium anymore- that they were _alive_ , and safe, and not drowning in the middle of an unending sea. 

She wasn’t ready to tell her kids yet. They sure as hell weren’t old enough. Sometimes Annabeth wondered if anyone could ever be old enough for something like that. She was twenty-six, and never seemed to be.

Instead, she scooped Bianca up and hugged her tightly, burying her face in her daughter’s dark curls that reminded her so much of someone else.

“Mommy’s okay now.” She said. “I promise, honey.”

Bianca gave a small, unsatisfied noise of annoyance. She untangled herself quickly and looked up with her mom’s stubborn grey eyes. “Kiss it.”

“Hmm?”

“Kiss it better.” The little girl reached out again, and this time tapped Annabeth’s stomach with a finger, so gently it felt like a ghost was brushing past it. “I will.”

Annabeth nearly started sobbing. She quickly wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and nodded, desperately willing herself to hold onto whatever self-control she had left just until Percy came home. If there was one thing they both hated to do, it was crying in front of their children. 

“Okay.” She sniffed and shook her head, chasing away the tears. “Okay, you can kiss it better.”

“Mwah.” Bianca planted a kiss right in the middle of the scar, smacking her lips loudly. When she was done, she looked up immediately with the same wide eyed expression as before, scanning her mom’s face in search of an answer. “Better?”

“Yes.” Annabeth took her in her arms again, fighting the urge to break down completely. “Yes, baby. Thank you.” Then, she thought for a moment. “Daddy’s got one too.”

Later that night, Bianca kissed _his_ better. The same scar, in the exact same place; and when they had put both Bianca and Silena to bed and were almost in bed themselves, that’s when Annabeth finally let it all out. She let out all the grief and pain and joy at seeing her child grow up, innocently, naively, still unaware of the lives that her parents did not choose, but had to lead anyway. 

_I didn’t want to be a half-blood._

Percy couldn’t help but join her.

“I don’t know how we’re going to tell them.” Annabeth shifted round and ran a hand through his hair. It was much later, close to one in the morning, a long while after their tears had turned into cold trail tracks down their cheeks. “It’s hard for us to talk about it between ourselves. How in Hades are we meant to tell them?”

Percy sighed heavily. “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking the same thing, to be honest.” He began to trace with one finger the tattoo on her arm, joining up all the dots of the Perseus constellation as he went. It was something he did a lot when he was anxious or angry or trying to get back to sleep after some horrible dream. Annabeth did it too, with his tattoos. The SPQR one on his arm; the date of their wedding, August 18th, 2012, written along his wrist and also along hers; the owl, right on the small of his back where his Achilles heel used to be. 

“I wish we could just not tell them anything.” Percy said after a while. “I wish we didn’t have to.” Annabeth moved her hand to his cheek, and his eyes fluttered shut softly. 

“I know.” She said. “Me too.”

They were quiet for a long time before he spoke up again. 

“Sometimes I can’t believe it, you know. That everything is real. Sometimes it feels like it’s all some dream and I’ll wake up back in Elysium without you, without the kids or my mom or Estelle or anyone.”

Annabeth knew already. She understood, because it happened to her all the time. Waking up in the night not knowing if she was really there, or whether she was back in the basement of the Big House with a bandage round her stomach, wasting away into nothing. They’d had this conversation a million times before, but she knew from experience it was better to just talk about it, to get it out when you could. _’These things don’t just go away.’_ her therapist back in New Rome used to say. _’It’s going to take time. You have to be patient with it. Talk it out. Tell each other what’s real, make sure you know it. Find something that proves you’re really here.'_

“I know.” Annabeth murmured into the crook of Percy’s neck, and his breathing grew softer almost immediately. “But I’m here. _You’re here._ It’s all real.” Over the years, they’d developed a sort of system for times like this, just as the therapist had suggested, to reassure one another that everything was real and not just some morphine induced, strangely connected fever dream. Just like they had done so many times, she guided Percy’s hand to her chest and put her own hand on his. Their hearts beat steadily through their skin, foreheads touched together.

“We’re alive.” Annabeth whispered. 

Percy’s eyes were still closed. He smiled, and whispered back. 

_“We’re alive.”_

_clear blue water  
**high tide** came and brought you in  
and i could go on and on, on and on  
and i will  
skies grew darker  
currents swept you out again  
and you were just **gone** and gone, gone and gone_

_in silent screams and wildest dreams  
i never dreamed of this_

_this love is good, this love is bad  
this love is **alive back from the dead**  
these hands had to let it go free, and  
this love **came back to me...** _

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_...this love **left a permanent mark** _

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_this love is glowing in the dark_

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_these hands had to let it go free, and_

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_**this love came back to me.**_

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fin.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -yubarta-, if you're reading this which I hope you are- THANK YOU. i could have never imagined the amount of support i have got from you. you are an angel of the AO3 world, seriously. love you with all my heart.
> 
> thank you to everyone who has also supported this fic. it has been a sad ride, but something rlly cool that i've been able to put my energy into through lockdown and everything afterwards. i appreciate all ur comments and kudos! <3
> 
> and to kate- thanks for letting me talk about percy for hours when you've never even read the books. I love you millions. hope u like this ending. ;)

**Author's Note:**

> oop. i made another sad one. kate if you're reading this I'm sorry but also not really. (kate thinks I have some hidden trauma in me because all my fics are angsty. hmmm.)


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